Faith Steps with PastorE

Free Book Friday

2012-01-26T08:44:00.002-06:00

To celebrate the official release of my book, tomorrow will be Free Book Friday. What I am going to do is give away two books, signed and mailed to you.

So how do you qualify for such a great gift? It's easy. All you need to do is "like" the "Blessed in the Midst of Trial" fan page on Facebook. Do this and you are qualified. Tomorrow at noon I will randomly pick two people who "like" the page and I will send books to them.

So there you go - Free Book Friday is tomorrow.

52 Weeks of Joy - Medical Tests

2012-01-25T14:38:00.003-06:00

I know, viewing medical tests as a joy is a little odd, but hear me out :)

Back on January 1 the vision in my left eye started to get a little distorted. Things looked smaller and darker than they had before. So within 24 hours I say a doctor and he didn't see anything wrong.

Things did not get better, so by the end of the week I saw another doctor and he thought I had an edema in the back of my eye, but with my cancer history he wanted to run more tests.

So the following week I saw an expert and he said that yes, it was probably Central Serous Retinopathy, the edema in the back of my eye. But, with my history ... you can see where this is going.

So today I was in Madison at an eye clinic having more tests run. By the end of all the tests it appears to be Central Serous Retinopathy. It should heal itself within three months, and there does not appear to be a tumor. All good things.

So here is the joy - it is because of the doctors and the tests that they ran that I am able to sleep better at night. What I have is something that will heal itself, and if it wasn't there would have been treatments available.

So how about you - ever had a medial test turn into a time of joy?

Jonah

2012-01-22T06:44:00.000-06:00

What is your daily routine like?

For me, I have a number of habits.Three days a week I try to get to the gym by 5:00 am, come home, have a littlebreakfast, get the girls up and ready, then shower, shave, and head off to work.Pretty much the same thing, the same routine, every day.

Do you have a similar routine?

And isn’t it curious that we callthis routine “life?” Sure, there is something reassuring about life as routine. We enjoyour rituals, habits, and the continuity – knowing what is coming and what toexpect. And sometimes the routine is the only thing that keeps us going, thesameness of it all.

But you know, there is other lifeout there. Life just beyond the horizon. Life we may not know much about, butwe might be curious what it is like. Life that is moving, that is becoming. Lifethat has change in it.

Yes, we may be creatures of habit, butsometimes, just sometimes, there comes a word, an invitation. Yes, we hear ourname called out, we come forward, and our world begins to change.

I was thinking about this and howit related to the story of Jonah today. You see, the last thing Jonah wanted todo was to go and preach at Ninevah. These were his enemies, and he had nodesire to be anywhere near them.

Yet, God very clearly said “Go.” Well,Jonah fought against God on this. He fought so hard that wound up in belly of abig fish. After three days, he finally relented to God’s calling and off hewent. He does what God wants, preaches to his enemies, and probably hopes thatthey won’t change. All he says is “Forty days more and Ninevah will beoverthrown.” That’s it, no illustrations, no poems, just those few words.

And then something amazing happens.The response of the people to the world’s shortest and worst sermon is thegreatest in Scripture. The people repented, turned around, changed their ways.Yes, everyone, including the king, repents.

I knew this would happen, poutsJonah. I knew you were a God who was merciful and forgiving, a God who loves tochange the world, even our enemies.

And that is what God does, changesthe world, and does so in amazing ways.

How has God changed your world?

Stuck

2012-01-20T09:37:00.001-06:00

So, have you ever been stuck?

I remember once when I was hunting with a friend of mine in eastern Montana. We had spent the day chasing the elusive white tail and decided to give it one more shot. We were in a nice big 4x4 and saw a muddy little road that looked like it led into a great place for deer to bed down. So down the road we went, sort of. We started down the road, which was narrow and had a creek on both sides of it, and the truck started to slip. We threw it into 4x4 and kept going, and the truck slipped even more. After about 5 minutes of this we hopped out of the truck and saw that the rear half of the truck was starting to slide down the embankment. At this point we finally got smart and hiked a couple of miles to the nearest farm house and found a wonderful farmer who pulled out his John Deere and came to the rescue. I have no doubt he was laughing at us most of the time as well.

So yes, I have been stuck, but that is not the kind of stuck I am thinking about today.

Today I am thinking about getting stuck in our minds.Getting stuck in the past. Getting stuck in what has happened and not being able to move into the future.

I have been there before too. Sometimes I live in my mind way too much and I get stuck.

So the question is, how do we get unstuck?

Going back to my initial story, sometimes we need that gracious farmer to come and give us hand. A person who has a different perspective, who has worked that land before and knows some tricks to help get us unstuck. These people are wonderfully helpful in getting us unstuck.

Another thing that I do is get out and do something totally different, put myself in a different place with a different focus. Then when I come back to where I am I have a new view of things and that helps as well.

And, of course, there is the calling out to God for help. With my times of prayer and devotions, when I am stuck, I often am asking for guidance and support. I am asking for my eyes to be opened to a way to get unstuck in life.

So how about you? What do you do to get unstuck?

52 Weeks of Joy - Creation

2012-01-17T09:06:00.000-06:00

Okay, I went way back with this picture. That is Sierra when she was Scarlett's age.

Today the snow is pouring down, the roads are icy, much shoveling will need to be done, and I am celebrating the joy of creation and the seasons.

I love the seasons, all of them, and I love to spend time out in the great gift of creation in each season doing different things. So as the snow falls I am starting to think about the forts that will be made, snowball fights that will take place, and ski tracks that will be laid.

Yes, I love creation and just going out for a walk no matter the weather. It is during that time that I reminded of the great power and beauty of this God who created all and the awesome responsibility we have to help care for it.

The reason I chose the picture above for today wasn't to serve as a reminder of the joy of summer (and props to my mother-in-law for taking the picture), but rather it is because of the beauty of the picture itself. A child immersed in nature, smiling and enjoying the blessings of all that she is surrounded by.

Yes, my joy today is the joy of creation. What are you celebrating today?

Sunday Morning - Come and See

2012-01-15T06:28:00.000-06:00

In our gospel lesson for today, from John 1:43-51, we hear how Jesus calls two disciples into ministry with him. One of them he invites to come and join him, the second is invited by the first.

I love this story because it reminds us that God works in and through us. We are the ones who are blessed with gifts and are called to go out into the world and use those gifts to invite others to come and see Jesus.

In essence, we are God's hands in the world.

That's one thing our Sunday School kids have been learning more and more about over the years. They not only learn the Bible stories but they also find ways to live out their faith by serving others.

By being God's hands in the world.

So today I invite you to take some time and reflect on the gifts with which you have been blessed. It may be the gift of cooking, visiting others, praying for people, have a green thumb, be able to fix things, and the list goes on and on. What are some of your gifts, and how can you use those gifts to share God's love with others?

Coming to the Altar

2012-01-13T09:12:00.001-06:00

" Then the LORD appeared to Abram, and said, "To your offspring I will give this land." So he built there an altar to the LORD, who had appeared to him." Genesis 12:7

In Genesis 12:1-8 we hear the call of Abram (Abraham) andSarai (Sarah). God calls them to leave everything they know, including theirfamily and home, and go wherever he leads them.

As they answer this call, they realize that they cannot takeeverything they have with them. So they choose what is important and leave therest behind. As they travel they have conversations with God. They then markthe places that they have these conversations as hole and build altars there.In doing this they giving God an offering – an offering of themselves, anoffering of all they have and all they are.

Through the waters of baptism, you too have been claimed andcalled by God. You have been washed and marked as one of God’s own children. Asyou have grown over the years, God has continued to call you by openingopportunities to you to grow in your life of faith and share it with others.

So today, I invite you to build an altar for your offering. Take a moment and envision analtar, your altar, in your mind. What does it look like?

After you have this image of an altar in place, ask God ifthere is anything you need to put on it, anything you need to offer up to him.It could be something that may get in the way of your journey of life and faith – ahabit, desire, time, or sin. Is there anything you are doing that is keepingGod at a distance?

Now, with these things in your mind, put them on the altar.Hand them over to God where he will deal with them and grant you freedom fromthem.

52 Weeks of Joy - Aha Joy

2012-01-10T14:36:00.001-06:00

"When they saw that the star had stopped, they were overwhelmed with joy." Matt. 2:10 NRSV

The season of epiphany is the season of aha moments. It is the time when the magi realize who the true king is, Jesus. It is the time when the world is opened to the amazing gifts that God is bringing to us. It is the time when we our eyes are opened to God, once again, acting in our lives.

So as I was thinking about joy during this epiphany season, I started to think about joy in the "aha" moments. You know those moments, those times when you are just struck and go "aha, I got, I understand, I see."

I remember one of those aha moments from a few years ago. It was the week after Easter the year I had been diagnosed with cancer. We were going to meetJennifer’s family in Florida.They make an annual pilgrimage to a place on the panhandle and we had gone withthem a few times in the past. This year was different though, because we haddecided to drive – the four of us: Jennifer, the two girls ages five and one,and myself. It was going to be an interesting trip, to say the least.

It went well. We drove through thenight so that the girls could sleep in the back of the van. We tried to sleepwhen not driving, but that did not go quite as well. Jennifer has trouble sleepingin vehicles, and I had a mind that was racing – is this the last familyvacation I will go on? How can I make it memorable? What is there for me to doin order to make this the best vacation ever?

I actually put a lot of pressure onmyself, but as the drive progressed, once again I was hit by the Spirit, I was hit with that aha moment.

It doesn’t have to be the perfectvacation. It doesn’t have to be the most memorable event ever. All it has to beis what it is: a vacation with family, a time to relax, and an opportunity tospend time with people I love without the pressure of work, meetings, anddoctor’s appointments.

The aha moment that gave me so much joy was the moment of celebrating that moment, that time, that blessing of family and break, and not putting so much pressure on myself and on the vacation that it turned into all stress and no fun.

So what aha moment has brought you some joy?

Baptism of our Lord

2012-01-07T10:27:00.004-06:00

Today we celebrate the Baptism of our Lord. Below is an excerpt of today's sermon

“And just as Jesus was coming upout of the water, he saw the heavens torn apart and the Spirit descending likea dove on him”

Today is the celebration of thebaptism of our Lord. It is the day we walk with Jesus into those waters at theriver Jordan,the day we gawk wide eyed at John as he submerges Jesus in that running water,and the day when Jesus explodes out of the water that the heavens are rippedapart. Yes, in our reading for today we hear that the heavens are ripped apart,and they are ripped in such a way that they can never fully be mended. Therewill always be that rip, the tear, that change that has taken place, and itmeans that as of that very moment, things cannot go back to the way they were.

You see, with God coming to us, withJesus’ baptism and the rending and ripping of the heavens, with God loose inthe world in a way he never has been before, things have changed, and there isno way to put that genie back in the bottle. Because the heavens are ripped,and once something is ripped, it will never go back to the exact way that it way.And honestly, once something is ripped in such a way, will be different, mayeven be better.

Take a moment and think about thatin your own life. I think about my own health life.I have this surgery scar, aplace where I was ripped apart with a scalpel, and I will never the same. But, Iam better for it.

And I bet you can come up withexamples in your own life. I bet you can come up with times when things wereripped apart beyond your control. But as things progressed, able to see theblessings, able to see how things were better in the long run.

That is what is happening at thebaptism of Jesus. The heavens are being ripped apart and things will never bethe same. For God is actively getting his hands bloody and dirty, literally,and restoring his relationship with his children, with you. And God does thisby entering into the world and ripping apart boundaries to seek us out

Prayer

2012-01-04T08:42:00.002-06:00

One of the resolutions I often hear about almost every January is that people want to improve their prayer life or their devotional life as a whole. And I do have to admit that there are times that my prayer life is like a roller coaster as well - times I am very active in prayer and other times that it slips to the side.

One of the tools that I use to help get myself back on track or enhance where I am is called TAPS prayers. TAPS prayers are a fairly simple way to think about who we are prayer for and how we can be involved in this conversation with God that is called prayer.

Here is what it stands for:

T - Thanksgiving - Giving thanks to God for the blessings in our lives
A - Ask - Asking God for what we need in our lives
P - Praise - Praising God for being the God of grace, forgiveness and love that he is
S - Supplication - praying for others

Then, after going through the TAPS prayers you would take some time in silence to listen to what God has to say to you.

Do you have any favorite ways to pray?

52 Weeks of Joy - Sacred Home

2012-01-03T08:30:00.000-06:00

"A river and its streams bring joy to the city, which is the sacred home of God Most High" Psalm 46:4 CEV

As I start this journey of looking at and celebrating the joys in our lives, I want to start with the joy of the city. Our congregation is in the inner city part of Beloit. It is a city with a very high unemployment rate and there are many needs in the area, especially right around the church.

So one of the joys that I see is the way that this congregation, and the community at large really, is working to help meet those needs. We have a day house for a homeless shelter on our grounds and we host a weekly lunch where we will feed anywhere from 50 to 150 depending on the week.

For me the true joy here is in the way the people of this congregation are being the hands of God in the world. They see a need, they see something that has to change, and they make it happen.

So there is Joy #1 - the joy of being in this city and celebrating the work of the people here.

So what is joy #1 for you today?

Welcome 2012

2012-01-01T09:11:00.001-06:00

As it was for many of you as well, 2011 was a year filled with ups and downs. Through all of what came I was continually reminded of the major blessings we are showered with and how it is so easy to miss these blessings. So my prayer for you in 2012 is that your eyes may always be opened to the blessings of God in you life.

God Bless.

One more step forward

2011-12-30T14:29:00.000-06:00

Today was another large step forward in my cancer battle. I had another one of my appointments with my oncologist, getting the results of my latest CT scan. Quick summary - everything went very well. My CT came back clean and the doctor left with a smile on his face (which is not always the case with oncologists).

I always get nervous around CT time. I had the scan on Monday morning and then I have to wait for five days to get the results. Now for the previous three and half months leading up to the scan I am sure that nothing is wrong and the scan will come back great. But for the five days between the scan and the results, the nerves kick into high gear.

So today my appointment was at 9:15. Jen and I got up there around 9:00, after stopping for a mocha of course, and thought we would be in the waiting room for awhile. but the nurse came and got me within minutes of sitting down. I had to do the whole weigh in thing again (down four pounds from last time) and then the typical blood pressure, temperature, etc. Then she left and we wait, again.

But this time we must have been the first ones in because the doctor was their very quickly. The first thing he did was pull out the results and say - no changes, all is good.

That is the moment that I start breathing again.

He then went through all of the scans and said everything looked very good. Then set me up for another appointment in four months.

And that appointment is a big one. You see, that is the 2 year mark of my surgery. With this type of cancer when a person makes it to the 2 year mark the chance of recurrence is miniscule. So after 2 years we then go to annual CT scans without contrast.

So a quick heads up - in 4 months if you are anywhere near me we will be having a party as I certainly expect the CT will be clean then too!

It is amazing to see how fast the past two years have gone and all the amazing things that have happened. Through all of this I still see the blessings and celebrate the joys of all of you and the support and prayers you have shared with me.

May you all have a blessed day!

52 Weeks of Joy

2011-12-28T09:58:00.002-06:00

This time of year I start to hear all of the New Year's Resolutions coming out. Now I am not big on resolutions - when I see the need to make some changes or grow (or shrink) in certain areas, I try to do so right away.

But this year I am trying something different. I am setting a goal for myself, and inviting you to be a part of it.

So starting in January I will have a regular Tuesday Blog focusing on Joy. One of the things I have continually noticed is how negative people have been getting and how hard life is becoming. So I want to spend some time seeing the good things, the blessings, the joys we already have in our lives.

So every Tuesday I will have a guiding passage and some thoughts about joys that I see in my life. I will also invite you to share your joys with me on the comments section here.

So for a year we will spend time looking at the good things, the joys, the blessings we have. I am looking forward to this and hope you are too.

Christmas Eve

2011-12-24T20:35:00.003-06:00

Christmas Eve is a busy time around our household. We have two services and between them we go home, have dinner, watch a little Christmas Story, and then bring the girls back to sleep in the office while we get ready for the second service.

Sometimes we rush too much.

So tonight, after we got the girls settled into their sleeping bags and Jen was filling out some Christmas cards, we went and sat in the sanctuary for a few minutes. It was a time for me to just slow down and reflect, once again, on the beauty and the power of this amazing day.

Tonight we celebrate the fact that God come to us - as one of us.

Isn't it amazing.

God, the creator of all. The all-powerful one.

God came to us, became one of us, and did all of this because of the love that he has for us.

The message is simple, and yet, it is so powerful.

So this Christmas, may the story awe you once again, and may you experience the all-embracing love of God in your life.

Christmas Pajamas

2011-12-21T08:30:00.000-06:00

Okay, I did it.

I entered into the next level of Daddy Dorkdom.

I think this may be what happens when I am left alone with my 7 year old with too much time on my hands in a store.

But I did it.

Yes, I went aisle by aisle and I purchased Christmas pajamas for everyone in my family, including my wonderful wife.

Now they don't all match (I tried to make that happen but I couldn't find a set of four that would fit all of us). The ones above are the ones that Scarlett got. But I did manage to find a Christmas theme for all four pairs.

You can imagine just how excited my wife was when she came home and Sierra and I got to show her what we purchased.

Now I could stretch this and try to make some profound theological point or talk about how this is a wonderful bonding experience for our family, but it's not and I don't think you would let me get away with stretching it that far.

Nope, I just got in the Christmas Spirit in a rather odd way and decided to be Daddy Dork for the day.

I know we will take pictures, but I really doubt that they will be allowed on-line, so you can use your imagination.

So have you ever done anything that brought you to the next level of dorkdom?

Sunday Morning Reflections - Mary

2011-12-18T06:27:00.000-06:00

Today is the last Sunday in the season of Advent, the season of waiting and preparing for the Lord. So this week we travel with Mary and I am including an excerpt from last years sermon on this passage - Luke 1:26-38.

Today we hear of a heavenly visit and a divine announcement. A younggirl who was out and about, doing daily chores and an angel appears to her. Inthis greeting he says that she is a favored one, one beloved by God. But, toreally grasp this message, to see the groundwork being laid – must go back alittle, back to the beginning of this chapter, back to the story of Zechariah.

Zechariah was a priest, he was onewho was chosen by lot to serve in the temple and called to burn incense duringthe time of prayer, and it was during one of these times that he was burningincense that a life-changing event happened to him – an angel appeared him aswell. This angel, Gabriel, told Zechariah, your prayers will be answered, youand your wife, Elizabeth, will have a child. What good news this was for aftermany years of not being able to have a child, will now be able to do so.

But, in hearing this news, Zechariahis in shock. How can this happen? He asks, both my wife and I are old, thisdoes not seen likely at all! Gabriel then scolds him for his doubt. He says,you will be silent and not be able to speak until the day this happens becauseyou did not believe my words.

In this short exchange, Zechariahdemonstrates his disbelief. He has heard the word of the angel and he has notbelieved it. He wants proof. He wants toknow for sure that this is true. But, the angel of God is not about knowing. But rather, the angel calls for faith, callsfor belief, and punishes Zechariah for his lack of faith. Because you did notbelieve my words, you will become mute. And so it was. Zechariah stands beforeus, on this amazing and miraculous day, as a person of doubt.

Why is it important to hear thisstory, this story of doubt, as we look at and hear the story of Mary as well? Becausewith Mary we see and hear the exact opposite. Mary, too, is approached by anangel, the same one in fact. She too is told that she will have a child. Butshe is very different than both Zechariah and her cousin Elizabeth – she isyoung, she is unmarried, she is a common peasant woman. And, she is the modelof faith

As the priest of the highest order inIsraeldoubted what the angel told him, Mary, the peasant, one of the lowest insociety, believes. When the angel tells her of the impending birth, sheresponds as only faith can, “Here I am, the servant of the Lord, let it be withme according to your word.”

These two stories, as different asthey are, belong together for they are both stories of faith, and faith haseverything to do with hearing the promised word of God and trusting in thatword. And this wonderful childlike faiththat we see in Mary lays the groundwork for what is going to happen.

The Elf on the Shelf

2011-12-16T10:41:00.000-06:00

We have an elf in our house.

He is a cute little guy with a red suit who only comes during the month of December. Every day he keeps watch over the house, and those who live in it, and at night he scurries back to St. Nick and reports in about the days activities. The next morning he has moved to another part of the house to keep an eye on everyone.

Now the girls love our elf. Every morning they jump out of bed and run around the house trying to find him. Yesterday he was sitting on top of a light fixture in the kitchen, and when discovered shouts were made to us parents that we could not turn the light on because we did want to "burn the elf's butt."

As parents we are always nervous that the elf will forget to move the overnight.

As a little game of hide and seek, the elf on the shelf is fun. As a tool to teach kids to be good, well, I don't think the elf really works, nor should he (in my opinion).

But what I like most about the elf on the shelf is the fact that this is the second year he has appeared at our house and he is becoming a family tradition. At the end of November Sierra was already asking us where the elf was and when he would be back.

And I like family traditions. They are things we do that are special to us, to our families, to those we love. Traditions like this help to strengthen the bonds of family and grow in unique ways.

So what are some of your family traditions and how did they get started?

The Valley

2011-12-15T14:34:00.001-06:00

Recently I was reminded about a time when I was sitting with a lady in the hospital as she was struggling with the diagnosis that she was going to die soon, her disease was terminal. As we talked she said, “There is one thing I know as I enter this last leg of my journey, I am not traveling alone.” We hear that promise throughout scripture, especially in Psalm 23, and we are reminded that as we journey into what may seem as the darkest parts of our lives, even as we journey to death, we are not alone. God has promised to light the way for us, and he sent his Son to show how death and darkness have no power over us. This is the light of God, that his light is never extinguished, and our journeys will only bring us to a greater light, an eternal light, blessed with all the love that God can shower upon us.

Seeing Thankfulness in Odd Places

2011-12-14T09:57:00.001-06:00

I will give thanks to the LORD with my whole heart;
I will tell of all your wonderful deeds.
²I will be glad and exult in you;
I will sing praise to your name, O Most High.

Psalm9:1-2

I remember my high school days when I was playing football.We had three-a-days in the August heat, and after the sessions we would justcollapse out of exhaustion and pain.

I remember my rugby playing days in college. There were somemornings after a match that nit would be hard to move.

Yes, I remember soreness, and I think one of the reasons Iremember it so well is that today, I hurt.

Yes, I am sore, really sore. Yesterday my wonderful trainerworked us out hard, and I am paying for it.

But I wasn’t going to let that soreness beat me. So I slowlycreaked my way out of bed this morning and went to class again.

But as I was showering after the workout, I was remindedthat the soreness really is a blessing. It is a blessing because I am able toget up, go work out, and physically get healthier. As my trainer says – It’s agood pain.

So today, as strange as it sounds, I am thankful for thesoreness and the ability to get up and go work out.

Sunday Morning Reflections - Light

2011-12-11T06:36:00.001-06:00

Today we travel with John the Baptist once again, but the time we hear the story from John's gospel. When I read through this lesson I kept hearing the word light over and over again. How the light of the world is coming to us. Here is an excerpt from today's sermon.

Just imagine if you were standingon the banks of the Jordanwith John that day. Here is this guy, this prophet, speaking to you and thegreat crowd you are with, and then some religious leaders come up to him andstart questioning him.

Who are you? They ask. We know youhave gotten a lot of people to follow you, we know you are teaching andbaptizing, but we don’t know who you are, so tell us, they say.

And then John responds to theirquestions in the strangest way, for instead of telling them who he is, he tellsthem who he isn’t. I am not the Messiah. I am not Elijah. I am not the prophet.The religious leaders must have been very frustrated at this point. Yeah, soyou’re not these people, but who are you?

John continues on and says, I amthe one who is preparing the way for the Light of the world. I am the one whois making sure that people are getting ready. And you know what, that light,that one you seek, he is here. Right here, right now, right in this place. Yes,he is here, and his light is so bright that the darkness of the world is goingto be shattered.

Yes, imagine if you were standingthere listening to all this, and you hear this prophet telling the religiousleaders, and even you, that the one you are seeking is here. The one who willbring peace is here. The one who will bring wholeness is here. The one who willbring forgiveness is here. The one who will bring new life is right here.

What good news that is. He is here.The light is here. The Messiah is here.

A Day of Thankfulness

2011-12-09T08:54:00.001-06:00

¹²Rejoice in the LORD, O you righteous,
and give thanks to his holy name!

Psalm97:12

I remember riding in the back of the car as a child,peppering my mom and dad with questions as we drove around town or went out onour family vacations. Back then, no questions was too silly to ask and everyanswer was longed for. Part of the fun was trying to stump my parents and seehow they would respond if I happened to ask them that tricky question.

Now the tables have been turned.

Earlier this week, Sierra was riding in the back of the carand started asking me all sorts of questions – the kind of questions I used toask my parents, the kind of questions that as adults we tend to pass right overand silly. But as I answered all of her questions the best that I could, I wastaken back to those innocent and care-free days of life. To have the freedom toask any question, and not think it was silly. To have the trust that asking aquestion would not elicit a laugh, but rather a thoughtful answer, and to havethe ability to see the world as an overall good place. With just a fewquestions, my mind flashed back to what it was like to live in that innocent 7-year-old world once again.

So I am thankful to see the world through my daughter’s eyes.I am thankful to have my eyes opened to her world and the beauty that residesthere. I am thankful that sillyquestions can be asked and answered, and that the innocence of a 7-year-old caninspire others.

Wednesday Morning Coffee - Be Still

2011-12-07T09:11:00.001-06:00

I am not always good at sitting and being still. I like to be active, to get up and move, to take care of what needs to be taken care of. Quite often, even on my days off, I have a hard time just sitting and taking things in, instead I am running around the house, doing laundry, shopping for groceries, cleaning the girls room, and the list goes on and on.

But I need to be still.

I know this, I know that I need to sit, to rest, to take my sabbath time and embrace the joy of being still, and being still in God.

I think part of it goes back to my cancer battle. When I was recovering from surgery and undergoing chemo treatments I didn't have the strength or energy to get up and do what I wanted to do. I had to sit, I had to be still, I had to take that time for my body to recovery. And it was good for me as well.

But now, now when I sit and be still I am doing it by choice. And when I actually do it, it is something that I enjoy and has a calming influence on my life. I know that I need this time, that my body and soul needs this time, but all too often it gets pushed to the bottom of the list because of everything else that "needs" to get done.

So during this Advent season, I have been making myself take more time to be still. I have been rest in the presence of Christ and it has been making a difference. During this time I have had more experiences of the Spirit than I have had in long time. And it has helped in my other relationships as well. I have learned that when I take this time, when I am still, it benefits me in body, mind, and spirit; and in turn it benefits my relationships with others as well.

So do you sit and be still? Do make time in your schedule to rest in the presence of God?

Joy

2011-12-05T07:34:00.001-06:00

Okay, I will admit it - there are times I get depressed. There are times I feel down and the happiness and joy of life seems to be missing. There are also times that I am passive about trying to feel better, just waiting for someone or something to come by and pick me up.

I read a quote from Joyce Meyer today - Stop giving others the job of making you happy.

Too often, I think, we are passive when it comes to joy and happiness. Too often we expect others to come to our rescue and make things better. When, instead, we need to take the step forward ourselves. We need to do something a little different, look at life froma different perspective, and realize that they joy, the happiness, the blessings of life are there and ahve been there the entire time.

So now, when I get in a funk and feel a little down, I take a look at my girls (like in the picture above) and my wife and my friends and my life and see all of the blessings that I have been blessed with. I also physically move myself to another place to get a new perspective and I don't rely on others to make me happy.

So today, what are you going to do to see the joy in life?

Sunday Morning - Water

2011-12-04T06:01:00.001-06:00

We got rain yesterday. The start of December in Wisconsin and we got rain, not snow, but rain.

Okay, I am tired of rain. I would rather have snow this time of year. I like to ski, to make snowmen with the girls and make forts to have snowball fights in. Yes, I am still a kid at heart.

But we got rain, and the rain got me thinking about water as a whole.

Water is life-giving in so many ways. Water gives life to crops, quenches our thirst, and helps all of creation to grow.

And, in baptism, water and the Word is where new life is born in each of us.

This week we hear from John the Baptist for the first of two weeks. This week he is out in the River Jordan teaching, preaching, and baptizing. He is preparing the way for the Christ. He is messenger that new life is coming, and caming to each and every one of us.

So on this Sunday I would invite you to reflect on what it means to have new life in your life. If you have been baptized, what does that mean to you? If you have not, then what questions do you have about it?

A Little More Upbeat

2011-12-02T11:40:00.001-06:00

After yesterdays post on funerals I decided to go a little bit more upbeat today. Below is a video of one of the songs I enjoy listening to when I need a little pick me up. It is a little more "pop" than I normally do, but hey, lets have some fun.

Funerals

2011-12-01T10:06:00.001-06:00

Earlier this week the brother of one of our staff members passed away. He was diagnosed with lung cancer 8 months ago and despite all the treatments the cancer was too aggressive. I was asked to do the funeral in a neighboring town because of my relationship with the family and because of my own battle with lung cancer. I am sure that the service will be very personal and meaningful to all involved because of all the people that will be taking part and the large family who will be coming to celebrate his life.

As I was preparing his service this morning I got another call from the funeral home. A 101 year old woman had passed away. She had no real ties to the church, no family or real friends around, and they asked if I could do a graveside service for her tomorrow. They said, "All we need are a few prayers, the only person who will be there is a lady from LSS (Lutheran Social Services)."

Such polar opposites - a man who was too young and has an amazing amount of family and friends coming and a woman who outlived her friends and has no one to come and say their goodbyes.

And then, holding these two together, is the cross. The cross that is bare, the tomb that is empty, the promise of new life that holds on to all of us, even when we are struggling to comprehend why or how. Yes, it is the cross, the life-giving cross, that reminds us that there is always at least one, the one who created all, gives life, forgives, and empowers, who will be with us every step of the way, even when we take that step into the grave ourselves.

So today I celebrate the lives of two people, two children of God, to forgiven sinners. For God has blessed them with amazing gifts and promises, and they will be fulfilled.

Wednesday Morning Coffee - Entering December

2011-11-30T08:18:00.001-06:00

Okay, I may be a day early, but that's okay.

I always have mixed emotions when I enter into the month of December. It is a month that is filled with joy, Christmas Shopping, visits to Santa, programs and amazing worship services, and cutting down the Christmas Tree.

But it is also the month with a lot of extra work, there seem to be more funerals than other months, and the stress level at work and at home seems to be on the rise.

So I love December, but there are also times that I dread it, and then it goes by so fast I seem to have missed half of it.

So this year I am doing something a little different. Since I want to be fully present during this month, and I want to enjoy the Advent journey to the manger as much as I can, I am doing an intentional slow down for December.I am looking at the things on my calender and seeing what really needs to get done this month and what can wait until January, prioritizing my list, and then making sure that the time I have is used in the best way possible.

And I have also come to realize that there is no perfect gift, rather it is about the people we gather with and the time we have with them. Again, I want to be fully present. I want to go to my daughter's school program and truly enjoy the time she dances around as a penguin rther than thinking about the million other things that need to get done.

Basically, I just need to continually slow down and enjoy life rather than running through it.

So that is my goal for this month, to slow down and enjoy. To take in all of the sounds, all of the time with family and friends, all of the quiet moments in life (okay, with two kids those quiet moments are few and far between).

So how about you, how are you going to celebrate this month?

Giving Thanks

2011-11-22T15:32:00.001-06:00

Tomorrow we are heading off on a short little vacation to see Jen's family and then take a few days R and R before the busy Advent Season begins. So with that coming up soon, I wanted to post my Giving Thanks blog today, a little early.

As you can see, I give thanks for my family. These three are the light of my life and I treasure them each and every day.

- For the rest of my family, Mom, Kristi, Krystal, Kyrsten, Joe, Dottie, Kyle, Trisha, Becky, Leon, Christina, and Jack - all blessings in my life

- For work and the staff and members of the church

- For friends who have walked both joyful and difficult paths with me

- For those who have gone before me and inspired me

- For the blessings of daily comfort - heat, bed, food - the things I often take for granted

- For health - every day I am thankful for this

- And, of course, for the God who has blessed me, loved me, forgiven me, and cared for me - for God I will always be thankful.

What are you thankful for?

Sunday Morning - The King

2011-11-20T06:33:00.001-06:00

Today in the Church Year, we celebrate Christ the King Sunday. It is the end of the church year, which means that Advent starts next week, and celebration of the kingship of Jesus Christ. This year Jen is preaching and, I believe, she will be talking about the various seasons in the church year and how Jesus is King through all of them.

One of the themes that has been sitting with me this week is that of power - esp. how we want to have power, especially power over others. There are times when people think that having power, that demonstrating that you are stronger or smarter or braver or (fill in the blank) than someone else means that you are a better person than they are. This type of power has nothing to do with being better than another, rather it is all about selfishness - wanting to elevate the self above others.

But true power, the power we see in the kingship of Christ, is the power to move beyond our own wants and desires, the power to move beyond our selfish ways, the power to move out and serve the other with all of our heart and mind and strength. Yes, true power comes in service to the other and the building up of community.

So what are some ways you can demonstrate true power today? What are some ways you can build up the community and serve the other?

A Change of Mood

2011-11-18T10:03:00.001-06:00

Ever get in a funk and just can't seem to get out of it?

I've had days like that. Days when it seems like no matter what I do I just cannot get out of the bad mood I am in, and even the littlest things set me off.

I don't like those days. I want to be able to change my mood.

I had been reading through some stuff and ran across a line from Tony Robbins: Emotion is created by motion.

Basically what he is saying is that if you want to change your mood, your emotional state, many times what you need to do is get active, to do something.

Michael Hyatt, a leadership expert, said if you don't believe this then try this little example:

Slouch in your chair.
Round your shoulders.
Take shallow breaths.
Close your eyes.
Frown and then sigh.

If you do this there is a good chance you will start to feel down right away. What you do physically can effect how you feel emotionally.

And it is the same for feeling positive, for changing your mood for the better. Here are a few things I do to help get me out of my bad moods:

1- Get up and get out for a walk. Just leaving the space I am in and doing something different, even if it is just a walk around the sanctuary on a cold day, makes a huge difference in how I am feeling.

2 - Think back to a good thing that has happened during the week. No matter how bad or tough my week has been, there is always at least one thing that has been good and positive. I take some time to focus on that moment.

3 - TAPS prayers - TAPS stands for Thanks, Ask, Praise, and Supplication. I take a moment to pray through the TAPS prayers because it helps to move me away from focus on self only and lift up the good things and others that are in my life.

4 - Music - I crank up my i-pod with the most upbeat music I can find. Again it takes me out of that moment and brings me to a different place where things are better.

So if you need a change of mood, push yourself to do something a little different, a little more physical, so that you can make the move into a more positive area. May your eyes always be opened to the blessings of God in your life.

Wednesday Morning Coffee - Looking for the Rainbow

2011-11-16T08:54:00.001-06:00

I don't know about you, but there are some days when I am just feeling down. I don't have enough time to make all the visits and calls that I need to, I don't have the energy or inspiration to write the newsletter article or devotional piece, I don't have the creativity needed for the new idea I had, and to top it off, I have a cold coming on and I can't sleep very well with a stuffy nose.

Okay, that might be this week for me.

Yes, there are times, there are days, when it just seems so dark and depressing, times when it feels like all of our energy has been pulled right out of us, and we are just there. Just there sitting in the darkness, sitting in the storm, and hoping that it will end soon and a rainbow will appear.

Because a rainbow is a sign of hope, right?

A rainbow is a sign that the storm is over and a new day, a bright day, is coming.

Yes, sometimes it feels like I am just waiting for a rainbow to come, and that is not an easy place to be.

Many times when I am feeling like this I jump back to the book of Psalms. I love the psalms because there is a psalm in there for just about every emotion I could ever feel. So this week I was spending a little time with Psalm 46. Verse 10 says, "Be still and know that I am God."

That one little line reminded me that in these dark times, in the times of struggle and trial, in the times where it seems like there is no hope - God is there. God is there in the midst of it all and he is bringing the rainbow, he is bringing the new day, he is bringing the hope that we all long to experience in our lives.

So today may your eyes be opened, may you sit in God's presence, and may the rainbow you need appear.

Borrowing a Blog

2011-11-15T09:10:00.001-06:00

I read through a number of blogs every day - some to inspire, some to make me laugh, some because I know the authors. Every once in awhile I come across a blog that sticks with me, and yesterday was one of those days. So below I have posted a blog by Jon Acuff. You can read his stuff at jonacuff.com. Enjoy and let me know what you think.

1 table everyone needs.

November 14, 2011 in Leadership,Quitter with 0 Comments

My friend Brewster and I invented a table.
I know what you’re thinking right now:
“Of course you did. I’ve seen your photo online. You’re burly and rugged and clearly know your way around a band saw.”
While I appreciate you noticing all of those things, it’s not that kind of table. It’s not made of wood. It has no legs and can only hold one thing, but I promise you it’s a table that everyone needs.
What is it?
A brag table.
Brewster and I created it after having breakfast for a few weeks. We’re trying to become better friends and encourage each other and realized we were being a little dishonest. Every week, we’d edit the things we were proud of or excited about because we didn’t want to appear cocky or arrogant. We’d paint our weeks with a bit of false humility, and share them with each other.
But eventually we realized that’s really dumb.
Excitement isn’t the same thing as arrogance.
Talking about a project you knocked out of the park doesn’t mean you’re cocky.
Celebrating some accomplishment or goal doesn’t make you a jerk.
We decided that everywhere else in life we might need to be quiet. We might need to downplay things or stand behind the scenes, but at the brag table we would cheer as loud as we wanted for each other. We refused to believe that your only two options as a young leader are to be a cocky jerk or to never openly discuss something you’re proud of and excited about.
We decided to create a middle ground. And we call it the brag table.
There,at breakfast, we celebrate each other and share our triumphs without the fear of someone online saying “That’s a humble brag” or “Get over yourself.” Being vulnerable about your failures is only half of the story, you have to be vulnerable enough to share your successes too.
Which is why I loved getting a text from Brewster the other day. It said, “Can I approach the brag table?” I said, “Of course!” And then we got to cheer over text messages about an award Brewster had recently won. The brag table went virtual! It was no longer just the table we had breakfast at.
Today, I’m turning this post into a brag table.
Today, in the comments I want you to share something you’re really excited about and proud of. Something you did! Leave the false humility at home. This is the brag table.
And to make sure you know I’m serious, I’ll go first:
I’m really excited that Steven Pressfield endorsed my book Quitter. As I’ve mentioned before, his book “The War of Art” is one of my favorite books and I honestly didn’t think he’d ever give me an endorsement. But look what he wrote about Quitter:
There are friends (I might be one of them) who will tell you, “Quit your job and follow your dream.” But Jon Acuff is smarter than that. Quitter is about going from cubicle-bound to Outward Bound without committing financial and marital hari-kari along the way—and actually succeeding in the end. This book is wise, personal, funny and loaded with practical, real-world insights from Mr. Acuff’s own ongoing odyssey. If you’re torn between living your dream and putting food on the table for the wife and kids, don’t make a move till you read Quitter.
Steven Pressfield, Bestselling Author of The War of Art and Do the Work
How fun is that? I can’t believe Pressfield said that!
Now it’s your turn.
Pull up a chair to the brag table.
What’s something you’re excited about that you’ve accomplished?

A little humor

2011-11-14T13:44:00.001-06:00

Today I was in the mood for a little humor, and I ran across this video from the Skit Guys. Even though it is a week early, it will hopefully make you laugh and makes a great point as well.

Do you have any Thanksgiving traditions?

Sunday Morning - How do you view life?

2011-11-13T06:26:00.001-06:00

My focus for today's sermon has to do with perception - how we view life and how that view affects how we live our life. I was inspired by a professor at Luther Seminary, David Lose, who opened my ideas to a new way of looking at the parable of the talents (Matthew 25:14-30). In the parable the third servant does nothing with the talents he is given because of the fear he has of his master.

Fear can paralyze us.

And if we view the world through glasses fogged over with fear, we can see how it will affect the whole of our lives.

And the opposite is true as well. If we look at life through glasses of blessing, then we see so much more joy and hope in the world.

How we view life affects how we live out our lives.

So how about you - do you view life through the glasses of blessing or fear?

Saturday Morning Music

2011-11-12T08:36:00.001-06:00

I am working on the sermon for this weekend and I am mulling over the perceptions we have in our lives. How do we view things? What baggage do we bring with us to certain situations? Can we see the good in the midst of the bad?

As I have been thinking about all of this I flipped on Pandora Radio and the first song that came was "Blessings" by Laura Story. It is a song that speak directly to how we view things and if we were to look at things in a little different light life would be different as well. Enjoy.

Wednesday Morning Coffee

2011-11-09T09:35:00.000-06:00

Today is Jen's birthday. So this morning, as I sit in the office and drink my coffee, I am spending time reflecting on the gift of family.

Family is one of the greatest blessings we are given in life. As I think back on all of the birthdays that I have had the opportunity to share with Jen, I see blessing after blessing. I am reminded of all the places we have gone, of all the sights we have seen, of all the amazing experiences we have had the joy to celebrate together. And I look forward to so many more of these experiences as we continue to grow with one another.

Now this doesn't mean that there haven't been struggles - there are struggles and trials in every relationship. But those struggles and trials are so minimal compared to the good things, the good times, the blessings that we have shared with one another. I treasure the times I have had with my wife and children and cannot wait to see what the future brings to us.

So today I give thanks for my wife and wish her the best as she celebrates another year. Jen - you are a blessing to me and I am in awe of your gifts, your grace, your love. May you have an amazing birthday.

And I pray that all of you may celebrate the blessings of family every moment you have together.

Sunday Morning

2011-11-06T07:33:00.003-06:00

Today we celebrate All Saints Sunday in the church year, so I decided to post a sermon I preach back in 2007 on this day.

All Saints Sunday 2007

I remember you.

Back when I was in seminary I went ona cross-cultural experience and spent the month of December traveling through Israel. It wasa time when I had the opportunity to walk the land of the Bible and see all ofthese ancient sites with my own eyes. It was powerful experience, being able tosee all the places I had spent so much time reading about.

One day we took a trip to a memorial,a museum called Yad Vashem. In Hebrew this means “hand” and “name.” It is a memorialthat has been designed for all of the children who had died in the holocaust. Thesewere the young innocents. These were the ones who didn’t have the opportunityto grow up, to live their lives. And this memorial was named Yad Vashem becauseof Jewish tradition. You see, in Jewish tradition there are two things that aresupposed to passed on to next generation, Yad – hand, or work – what you do,and Vashem – your name – your genealogy – who you are as defined by family. Andthese children never had the opportunity to pass on either of these things tothe next generation.

As we walked into memorial buildingthe first thing we saw were the pictures of children – large picture of thisangelic faces that covered the entry way. Then we entered a huge room, largerthan the size of this sanctuary. This was a room that was filled with candlesand in the middle was this path leading through the candles. All these candleswere lit in memory of the children. And then, over a loud speaker, there was a readingof all their names. This recording ran continuously. You see, this was how theypassed on their hand and name, the reading of names, the candle light for theirhands. It was a powerful day, seeing all those little lights, lightsrepresenting those whose lives had been snuffed out way to early in life.

I remember you.

Short line from Ephesians lesson fortoday.

I remember you.

Paul is telling the people of Ephesus that hecontinually remembers them in prayer and thanksgiving, he remembers their lives,he remembers their faith, he remembers them.

I remember you

That is what today, All-Saints Sunday,is all about.

Remembering. Remembering those whohave gone before us. Remembering the saints in our lives. Remembering lovedones who have passed away in the last year. Remembering the promises of God –that this is not the end, but rather stones will be rolled away and tombs willbe emptied. Remembering.

Now I have to admit, I wasn’t reallylooking forward to preaching today.

For me, it was still a little toofresh, a little too close to home. Remembering my dad. No I wasn’t lookingforward to reading the All-Saints litany and reading my dad’s name, but as Iprayed, reflected, and wrote, these three words stuck with me: I remember you.

I remember your life, I remember youteachings, I remember your blessings, and I remember that you are a child ofGod.

You see, our remembering, myremembering, has more to it than the Jewish tradition I experienced at YadVashem. There is more to it because there is more than hand and name that weremember. There is also the promise and action, the promise and action of God -A God who always remembers us. Remembers us because we are his children and wealways will be.

Yes, All-Saints Sunday is aboutremembering, it is about reflecting on the candles sitting on the altar, reflectingon the lives of those who have been saints in our lives, reflecting on thelives of family and friends.

But it is not, it cannot be, onlythat. For we know that there is more. We know that God is still at work in theworld, we know that death has been defeated, and new life has been born. Weknow, for God has told us this, God has demonstrated this, and we trust in theone who gave his life so that all may live, and live eternally.

Yes, our remembering consists of thepast, but it is also a remembering that moves us into the future. A futurewhere we remember the guidance of the saints who have gone before us, a futurewhere we reflect on their lives, and then are empowered to live out our lives. Livesfilled with gifts that have been passed down to us, lives filled with love andgrace, lives lived out to the glory of God.

Yes, we remember the past this day andwe look forward to the future. A future that is bright, a future that is filledwith opportunities, a future that inspires us to live as the saints we havebeen called to be.

I remember you.

I remember you, church, living bodyof Christ. I remember you in my prayers. I remember you in the lives of faithyou live. I remember you, for you have been claimed by Christ and empowered bythe Spirit to live as saints, as ones with gifts from God to share, as oneswith blessings to give, as ones with a message, a gospel word, to share withall the world.

And so on this day, as we rememberthe past, as we remember our loved ones we also remember our calling. Ourcalling to bring words of hope to those who are struggling, our calling tobring love to the unlovable, our calling to bring strength to the weak. And aswe do this, we see the face of Christ shining back at us, a face that smiles atus, says, in a loving voice

“I remember you, for you are mine,and you always will be.”

My Own Little World

2011-11-03T16:14:00.001-05:00

Today I was out and about most of the day. I spent a lot of time in the car which meant I was listening to the radio quite a bit. Normally I switch for station to station depending on the song that is on. Today I was listening to one of the Christian stations around and a song came on that spoke to me. It was a good reminder about the blessings we have been given and how we are gifted to help those who are in need. Have a listen.

Wednesday Morning Coffee

2011-11-02T10:15:00.001-05:00

Knowing me means that you know how much I love coffee. When I am in the office there is always a pot going, I like my occasional trips to Starbucks, and I look forward to sitting with friends and family talking about life while celebrating a cup of coffee.

So today I am attempting to start a new tradition on the blog, Wednesday Morning Coffee. On Wednesday mornings I will be posting so thoughts and questions that I hope will be fodder for conversations that can take place for the rest of the week.

So today my thoughts have to do with relationships and communication (yeah, big surprise, I know:).

Yesterday our Intern Jeremy and I were at a training session for Interns and Supervisors. During one of the sessions the presenter was telling us about a study that has been going on for over 15 years in the Pacific Northwest. There is a psychiatrist who has dedicated his life to studying couples and seeing what helps to make marriages stronger. One of the amazing points of his work is that with all of the data he has gathered he has a 92% success ratio in determining if a marriage will work or not.

And he has come up with one major key as to the success of a marriage, any guesses as to what it is?

What he has come up with is the ratio of affirmations to critiques. Those who have a ratio of at least 7 affirmations to 1 critique in their relationship have a much higher percentage of having a healthy, happy, lasting marriage. Now, I will admit, I always thought a ratio of 1 to 1 was what was necessary, but after thinking about it, this makes sense.

It is easier for us to take criticism when we have been affirmed in what we are doing, and it also seems to take longer to hear the affirmations, while the criticisms cut to the bone rather quickly.

So how do you do with giving affirmations? Do you give positive feedback to others on a regular basis?

Reformation Day

2011-10-30T06:24:00.001-05:00

Today in the church year we celebrate the Reformation and the gifts that Martin Luther helped open our eyes to. In order to celebrate this in a fun little way is a video I recently found. Have a blessed day.

Casting Crowns Review

2011-10-28T08:37:00.000-05:00

As I said in the blog yesterday, last night Jen and I went to the Casting Crowns concert in Madison. There were three opening acts, who played for a total of and hour and 15 minutes, and then Casting Crowns came on and played for over two hours. It was a great concert with some amazing music.

One of the songs that they played is a new one, and is very, very powerful. Take a look.

After hearing this song and watching as a painting of Jesus was being done during the playing of the song, I was moved. The love that God has for us is so amazing, may we always be reminded of the blessings we have been showered with.

Casting Crowns

2011-10-27T10:01:00.001-05:00

This evening Jen and I are heading up to Madison for a Casting Crowns concert. Casting Crowns is a Christian band and I am excited to see them for the first time, Jen saw them at a worship leader conference last summer and loved them.

It is also an early birthday gift for Jen, as her birthday is next month and to have a night out is a great celebration for both of us.

Being able to take a little break, to have some fun with Jen, to celebrate the gift of marriage and our time together is a true blessing, one that I don't ever want to take for granted. So I continue to look foe little ways to make sure that we have that time together, and that it is a special time for both of us.

So what do you do to take a break in life? What are some of the little things that help you to get the R and R you need? Do you and a significant other have special things you do together? If so, what are they?

Book

2011-10-25T10:36:00.000-05:00

Last year, when I was going through my cancer battle, I started writing about the journey. Eventually this turned into a manuscript which was picked up by Tate Publishing last winter. After 10 months of editing, re-editing, and re-re-editing, it is finally in the publishing stage.

Because of all of the support of Our Savior's through this entire journey, we thought it would be right to release the book here first, so on Sunday, November 13th we will have the books available at church between services, and I hope to have copies available myself within three to six weeks. If anyone is interested in a copy, please let me know.

Summer Reading

2011-05-25T08:33:00.000-05:00

I remember in the summer, when I was growing up, my mom would take us down to the public library and get us signed up for the summer reading program. Every year we would check out a load of books and see how many we could read throughout the summer, and of course, see how many prizes we could get.

I do the same thing with Sierra now, and this year will probably involve Scarlett as well. We go to the library on Saturday mornings, after the Farmers Market, and get our books for the week. Then we read through them, marking them off on the little blue sheet that comes with it, and see how many they can get through in a summer.

I always loved the summer reading program.

This year we are going to do the same thing at the church. On June 1 we are starting the 90 Day Read Through the Gospels. So over the summer we will read through all four Gospels. I am looking forward to this journey again, as I love the stories in these books and the faith they continue to inspire.

I invite everyone to join us on this. If you are interested, let me know and I will get a reading guide to you (it is basically one chapter a day).

CT is Clean!

2011-04-20T10:54:00.000-05:00

So my third post-treatment CT came back clean, and even the area that was affected by radiation damage was not as pronounced. The doctor was very impressed with everything - I love seeing the oncologist smile!

The other piece of good news has to do with the follow up. When I started this journey, I was told that I would have 4 CT's a year for 3 years, then 2 CT's a year for 2 years, and the magic number was 5 years, where the chance was recurrence was very unlikely.

Today I was told that with all changes to treatment with lung cancer, those numbers have changed as well. Now I need 3 CT's a year for 2 years. After that it is annual exams. What this means is that the magic number of years for a recurrence is 2 years instead of 5. I only need to do three more CT's and I reach the magic number! Oh, yes, God is good!

So there is my good news today. Blessings upon you.

Celebrating One Year as a Cancer Survivor

2011-04-14T11:30:00.000-05:00

A year ago at this time I was still in the middle of surgery. I would wake up to find out that I had an extra tumor of a different cancer on my heart and that they surgery was at least two hours longer than expected.

I would also have a friend spill his coffee over my bed within an hour of making to my room - something, even in my medicated haze, I will never forget :)

What a difference a year makes!

Today I met with the Radiation Oncologist and received a good report. The lung function sounds good, the upper lungs moving more air than the lower lungs, but not a big deal. There are no bumps or nodules he could feel. Overall a good report and he said that this is another lap down, just keep taking the laps as we move on with this.

Tomorrow I go in for my 3rd post-treatment CT and I get the results from the Oncologist the following Wednesday. Overall I am feeling very positive about it, things seem to be going well and the breathing issues from the radiation damage have actually gotten a little better. I know I will be nervous going into that meeting, my blood pressure is always the highest when I meet with Dr. Vogel, but I am sure that the end results will be good and I will not be back for another 4 months.

Thinking back in everything that has happened in the past year, it is so easy to see the hand of God every step of the way. There have been blessings upon blessings throughout this journey, and I thank all of you for being a part of the journey with me - I couldn't have made it as easily as I did without you.

Next Wednesday I will post results, until then - God Bless.

Lazarus Sunday

2011-04-10T06:54:00.000-05:00

Today we will hear the story of Lazarus, the friend of Jesus who died and was brought back to life. It is a powerful story that opens our eyes, once again, to the power and love of God. And the image of new life is something I have been reflecting on a lot as of late.

This week is a rather emotional week for me. On Friday I will be celebrating one year as a cancer survivor, because on April 15, 2010 I had the surgery that removed the tumor from my body. On Friday I will also be having my 3rd post-treatment CT Scan. With all of these scans I know in my head that things will be fine, but I still get nervous that something might pop up once again.

So it is a big week for me on a personal level, and it is a big week in the church because it is the last week that we have mid-week services and we will be entering into the march to cross next Sunday.

So you can see how the issue of new life is one I have been reflecting on. New life in the second chances we are given, new life in the ways our eyes are opened so we celebrate everything we have in this life, new life in the promises given to us by the God who loves us, new life in the way these promises hold on to us when we are struggling.

So this weekend, may your eyes be opened, once again, to the new life that God showers upon you.

Mud, Spit, and Sight

2011-03-30T10:21:00.000-05:00

This week I will be preaching on the story in John's gospel about the man who was born blind and healed by Jesus. It is a story of healing, of new sight (and new life), and the power of the God who walks among us, cares for us, and loves as we are.

It is also a story that is dirty.

Earlier this week, the girls and I went into the backyard to play. it was a warmish day and the playset had been calling to them, esp. to Scarlett, so off we went. At first, Scarlett just climbed up the ladder and slid down the slide, but as time went on, she changed activity.

It was then that she found the sandbox.

Ahh, yes, the sandbox. A wonderful place to dig and bury and get as dirty as possible. And that is what she did. She was in that sandbox for nearly an hour, and you could by looking at her. And when I took her out to clean up before dinner, she cried like crazy.

Every day since then she has begged to go into the backyard and play in that sandbox.

Dirt is so much fun to play in (I still like to:), and it is an essential part of creation. In the lesson I am preaching on this weekend, I see how God uses this dirt, this part of creation, to make someone clean - and it always amazes me.

God using the unclean to make clean.

God using the broken to make whole.

God using death to make life.

What an amazing God we have - and what a blessing that he keeps coming to us, loving us, and caring for us.

One year later - the Surgeon

2011-03-24T09:07:00.000-05:00

One year ago I met the surgeon who eventually took this cancer out of me. That was a very long, very strange day. A year ago, it was on a Wednesday, in Lent, so we knew that we had services that evening. Jen and I decided we should have a friend go with with us, a retired doctor, to help process some of the stuff that would be said. This was a good plan, because the surgeon was running late, three and a half hours late, and Jen had to go back to worship before we got in to see her.

In fact, Jen only met her once, for about 1 minute right before the surgery. The rest of the time the doctor would come after Jen had left.

But for me, the most important part of this day, and what I truly celebrate, is that this doctor was the first one to use the word "treatable" with me. Before this there was no talk about being treatable, only what we would do for treatment. She told me I was in the top 20% of the people she saw, and it was treatable. I remember leaving that meeting and just floating because there was such a sense of hope.

A year later I am so grateful for this doctor, and as much as I love her, I hope to never go to her office again. She is gifted and gives hope, and a true blessing I will always treasure.

One year later - first meeting with the oncologist

2011-03-23T09:36:00.000-05:00

As I think back to this day one year ago, it was probably one of the more frightening days of my journey. As a pastor, I had met with a number of people who had seen oncologists. It was one of the few doctors that I feared, and that was because of the disease he focused on - cancer. So when I was first told that I needed to meet with Dr. Vogel, my blood pressure went up, this meant it was real, I had cancer.

Dr. Vogel is a brilliant man who serves people who are facing life-threatening diseases daily. I truly admire him and the work he does, but to this day, I still get nervous when I have an appointment with him. Again, it is not him, it is the disease and, now, the fear of recurrence.

But at that first meeting, we were not sure what to expect. Jen and I already knew I would be having surgery, but the rest of the treatments were up in the air. So as we sat down and he went over the scans and biopsy, we started to see that there would be more than just surgery.

One thing that impressed me at the beginning was that he already had an idea what caused the cancer. His assumption, which turned out to be right, was that I had a genetic mutation that affected a very small percentage of white males under 40.

So I was/am special:)

But he picked up on that right away. He then went through the surgery and finally said, after surgery we will have radiation and chemo too.

This was the first bombshell, esp for Jen. At this point we were hopeful that it would only be surgery, but to add radiation, and esp. chemo, that sent up more warning flags.

How would I react to the chemo?
How would the girls react?
How much extra work would Jen need to do, at home and the office?
And the list of questions went on.

Looking back, again I was very blessed. I handled the treatments very well and the congregation was an amazing blessing to us every step of the way. It could not have gone smoother.

It is so nice to be able to look back and see those blessings, and see the hand of God every step of the way on this journey.

At my next meeting with Dr. Vogel I am sure I will be nervous again - waiting for results from my April 15th CT Scan. But I am also reassured, because I see God at work in this process and in my life, and I have an oncologist who is a true blessing to me.

March 22, 2010 - One year later

2011-03-22T09:07:00.000-05:00

As I think back to March 22, 2010, I realize that it is a day that things became more real to me. It was this day that I had a breathing test. Now the test itself wasn't that big a deal, my lung capacity was good, quite good actually, but it was also one of those times that reality set in. as I sat in that little glass tube and blew out a tube in my mouth, I started to think, "How will my breathing be affected after the surgery? Will I be able to run around with the girls? What does this mean for walks around the riverfront with Jennifer?"

But it was also a moment of hope. As I sat with the tech who as doing the test, she told me about the surgery I would probably have. It turns out it wasn't that kind of surgery, but the fact that she sat there and took time to ease my mind, that was a blessing in itself. She also told me that my lung capacity would not be affected that much. Initially she was right, it was the radiation that has affected my lungs more than the surgery.

Looking back the test helped me get a better grasp of what was going on, and it helped move me forward to get ready for the next step of the process.

Tomorrow - One year after my first meeting with Dr. Vogel, the Oncologist.

Diagnosis - 1 Year Later

2011-03-11T10:28:00.000-06:00

So it was a year ago today that I was sitting in Dr. Patel's office with Jennifer getting the news that I had cancer. That moment still seems quite surreal to me - looking back and reflecting on all the emotions, thoughts, prayers that were running through my mind at the time.

And what a difference a year can make.

Today I went in for a blood draw, since I have a regular doctor's appointment on Monday and all my levels need to be checked. As I was sitting there, have a needle gently pressed into my skin, I started thinking back to all of the needles I have had inserted into me over the past year. There must have been hundreds of them (thank God I have good veins, or this would have been awful!)

But with all the needles, with the surgery, the treatments, the prayers (I seem to mention that one a lot:), this past year has gone as smooth as it possibly could. I have had two clean CT's and feel wonderful. Yes, the diagnosis from one year ago truly has been a blessing, because the cancer was caught and treated and I can go on living this gift of life to the fullest.

The past year has also slowed me down in many ways as well. I make more time to celebrate the little things - a daughter's laugh, my wife's smile, the squeal of joy coming from an infant - all these things mean so much, and are such a treasure that I will never take for granted again.

So one year down, and many, many more to go - always celebrating the blessings of life!

Reflections

2011-03-04T09:43:00.000-06:00

As we entered March, my mind started wandering back to a year ago. It was on March 1, 2010 that I started the medical journey to discover I had cancer and then have the surgery and start the treatments. Over the next few weeks I will be posting some reflections about what I am feeling on some of those milestone days.

It is hard to believe that it has been a year, the time has gone very fast. I am reminded each and every day of how blessed I am that I had a doc who went the extra mile to find out what was going on with me. When I started this process back last year, I had a hard time looking past the next test or next doctor's appointment, let alone looking forward a year or more. But after two clean CT's, lots of prayers, and being blessed with docs that are the best at what they do, now I look forward to the future in amazing ways. It is about living with hope - hope in the God that loves us, hope in the healing hand of the Spirit, hope in the future.

Holding onto promises

2011-03-01T11:09:00.000-06:00

This week has hit me hard. I started with two funerals, have a WELCA service on Saturday, a dear friend lost his mother, number of people on hospice, and lent is only a week away. So the busy-ness of the season is well upon me.

But as I was preparing for one of the funerals, I was reminded of the promises that Christ makes to us - promises of love, grace, forgiveness, and new life. In the hardest of times, it is these promises that hold onto us, helping us make it through the dark valleys so that we can celebrate the still waters and the restoration of our souls.

This week I also received an e-mail saying that the production of my book is about to start. It is a moment of great joy, as I am excited to see this happening, and a moment of, "Oh man, lent and this all together." Again I was reminded, rejoice in the gifts you have been given - and I will rejoice in this gift as well.

Throughout Lent I hope to be on here more often, providing some thoughts and reflections for all of you, as well as for me. Also I have a new Lent Devotional I will have available by Ash Wednesday. Anyone interested please let me know.

CT Results

2011-01-21T10:51:00.000-06:00

Today I got the results from the my CT Scan and there is no cancer present. I can breath another sigh of relief now.

But it was unnerving for a few minutes there. It turns out that the radiologist had not sent the results over to my doctor, even though the test had been on Tuesday. So he went through the scans on the computer and he kept stopping at a certain area. Finally he said he saw something and wanted to talk to the radiologist about it. So they are on the phone talking about this thing they see, asking if I have a fever, etc. Finally they agree that it is probably an infection and I should take antibiotics for it. That would explain me getting winded running up and down the stairs too - so that is good.

The other option is that it is post-radiation changes. Hearing that I went over to my radiation oncologist and he looked at the report. His thought is that it is delayed radiation changes and he was going to look at the scan to confirm as well.

The great news is that it is either an infection or past-radiation changes. No cancer!

My next CT is on April 15th - last year on April 15th is when I had the cancer surgery, so this a good day to do another scan. The results will be out the following Wednesday.

Thank you for all the prayers and support. I truly appreciate. Tonight is celebration night!

CT Week

2011-01-17T11:48:00.000-06:00

Tomorrow I go in for my second post-treatment CT. Doing the scan itself is no big deal, I have done enough of these now that it is a simple little process.

It is the mental stuff that still gets to me.

Thinking about the what the results might be is still frightening. I am very hopeful that all is well and the scan will be clean, but there is still that nagging little doubt in the back of my mind.

For example - for the past month plus I have been getting winded when I run up and down stairs or do something physical. I know that they took out a part of my lung, so getting winded should not be that big of a deal, but there is always the nagging thought of what else could be causing it.

But again, I remember how blessed I am that I have come this far with the treatment. I have gone through everything that I needed to, and my body has held up very well. So, as I said, I am hopeful that the results will be just like last time - a clean CT.

I get the results on Friday, I do appreciate all your prayers.

Thankfulness Challenge Wrap-Up

2011-01-04T08:30:00.000-06:00

The past month has been wonderful for me - making sure I take time to focus on all of the blessings I have been given and all of the things and people I am thankful for in my life. I have also heard from others that they got a lot out of it as well, and I am glad about that too.

Now, the goal is to continue that same attitude of Thankfulness on a daily basis. It is not always as easy thing to do, but as I have been reminded of over the past month, when I am thankful and see the blessings of life, life is so much more joyful.

The next couple of months will be prep months for Lent - I hope to be on here at least once a week. I have my next CT Scan on January 18th and will get the results of it on the 21st (prayers are always appreciated). So far I am physically feeling great and hopeful that the scan will come back clean again.

By Lent I will have a new devotional prepared that will focus on our prayer/spiritual life and finding ways we can talk about our faith. More will come on that later as well.

I hope you enjoyed the challenge and I will be back soon.

TC - Day 30

2010-12-30T08:25:00.000-06:00

Over the past few months I have seen a number of amazing opportunities come forward in the life of the church and in my own life as well. They have been opportunities for growth in a variety of ways, including in my own spiritual life. So today I am thankful for opportunities.

TC - Day 29

2010-12-29T10:00:00.000-06:00

We are nearing the end of the Thankfulness Challenge, only two more days left. So today I am thankful for this challenge. Over the past month I have heard from a number of people how this challenge has made them reflect on how they view what is happening in their life and look at the positive things that are happening with them. It has also helped me to slow down during this busy month and remember why it is we do what we do.

TC - Days 26, 27, 28

2010-12-28T09:10:00.000-06:00

I need to play a little catch up again - so here we go :)

26 - I am thankful for safe travel. On Christmas we went up to Jennifer's sisters place and then on Monday we went to her aunt and uncles. It was nice to get together with the whole family, and I was very relieved when the roads were clear for travel as well.

27 - I am thankful for the noise children make. Throughout the entire weekend there was laughing, screaming, truck noises, and everything else you could think of. The girls were having a blast and the noises that they made were wonderful.

28 - I am thankful for grandparents who take the children for a few days. Jen's parents took Sierra and Scarlett for two days so that Jen and I could get some cleaning done around the house. Last night we cleaned the carpets, today we are going to do more cleaning and go see Harry Potter. I am very thankful for Joe and Dottie to take the girls for a few days so we can get this done.

Just a few days left of the challenge. How have you been doing with it?

TC - Days 24 and 25

2010-12-24T20:31:00.000-06:00

I am combining these two because I know how busy tomorrow will be, and in celebrating the birth of Christ, it is rather east to have two things to be thankful for right now.

1 - I am thankful for Christmas, for the blessing of the Christ child, for the love of God, and for the new life that is born.

2 - for music - our services are filled with wonderful and moving music, music that brings the season to life in wonderful ways.

Have a blessed Christmas everyone!

TC - Day 23

2010-12-23T08:26:00.001-06:00

Today is garbage day in our neighborhood, and so today I am thankful for those who take care of the garbage for me. This is one of those things that I do not think about often, I just haul the cans to the end of the driveway and pick them up a few hours later. But to live in a place where the garbage is taken care of and not just lying in the streets - it is a true blessing.

TC - Day 22

2010-12-22T19:39:00.000-06:00

Tonight I am teaching confirmation. We have a wonderful class this year. Tonight we are looking at the Third Article of the Apostle's Creed - the Holy Spirit. The conversation we have about the Spirit have been wonderful. So today I am thankful for the gift of the Spirit and these youth who are continuing to grow in their faith.

TC - Days 18, 19, 20, 21

2010-12-21T08:49:00.000-06:00

I got a little bit behind over the weekend, so today is my catch up day.

18 - I am thankful for decongestant. With a cold, this is a true blessing :)

19 - I am thankful for the new snow. Yes, I know this sounds weird, but as I was driving to school today all Sierra could talk about was playing in the snow and building a fort with me. That kind of time together is precious, and I thankful that the snow brought that to light.

20 - I am thankful for the creativity of my wonderful wife. She wrote the advent Sunday School curriculum and the Christmas program, which was last weekend. It was wonderful and her ability to tie in the story, crafts, and service projects to all of it was great.

21 - I am thankful for the Hands of Faith program. This is a program that houses the homeless in churches throughout the Beloit area. This week we are housing it, and with all the snow and cold, I am thankful that we can be a part of helping those who are in need.

TC - Day 17

2010-12-17T08:54:00.000-06:00

Yesterday the church took a huge step forward in our mission by taking possession of a house that we will use for the seminary internship program we are starting next year. As I did some of the work with the donor and the church, I heard the story of what led to this donation. Throughout the entire story I saw the Spirit blowing through the lives of all involved. It is always wonderful to see the way God works in and through people and situations. So today I am thankful for the blowing of the Spirit and the ears that are open to hear the Spirit.

TC - Day 16

2010-12-16T08:13:00.000-06:00

There is a guy in our congregation who has been a huge blessing to me, our family, and the congregation as a whole. Over the past year he has taken care of our yard, hauled me and the dog to the vet when I was still unable to drive, and taken things to and from the church over and over again. Over the next week he will be taking care of the poinsettias, taking gifts to the nursing home, and making a few other trips to help us all out. So today I am thankful for Steve.

TC - Day 15

2010-12-15T09:04:00.000-06:00

The work out class that I go to at the Y in the morning is one the is filled with humor. With all of us getting up very early, the humor is something that keeps us awake and even having fun when we are punishing our bodies and trying to make them healthier. So today, I am very thankful for the gift of humor in my life.

TC - Days 13 and 14

2010-12-14T08:29:00.000-06:00

I have come to discover that writing on the blog on my day off does not happen. So once again I will list two things I am thankful for today.

1 - Throughout my cancer journey I was writing about what I was experiencing. A few months ago I sent my manuscript out to some publishers and last week I was sent a contract to have my book published. I am thankful for the opportunity to have my book published and hopefully it will help others.

2 - Monday night is swim lesson night for Sierra. She is progressing at a wonderful rate and it is a joy to see her having so much fun. So the second thing I am thankful for is the opportunity for the girls to learn how to swim and have fun in the water.

TC - Day 12

2010-12-12T06:27:00.000-06:00

Today I was up very early to get the driveway cleaned off before coming in. We are having one of those wet, heavy snows that leaves some ice beneath it all. When I got to the office I saw that our custodian and former custodian were already at work - the sidewalks were cleaned and the steps were salted. Today I am thankful for such a great staff. They work hard and make a huge difference here - so thank you.

TC - Day 11

2010-12-11T10:17:00.000-06:00

With the snow coming and the cold weather rolling in, today I am thankful for crafts. Being able to sit with the girls and decorate a gingerbread house or make Christmas ornaments is a true blessing and I treasure that time with them.

TC - Day 10

2010-12-10T08:25:00.000-06:00

This morning I woke up to the sound of scratching in the attic. As I lay in bed, thinking of the kind of poison I would need to take care of that scratching little animal up there, I was reminded of the blessing of having that roof over my head. So today I am thankful for the shelter that protects me and my family from the weather outside (but not the little critter living in that roof).

TC - day 9

2010-12-09T11:10:00.000-06:00

Today as I reflect on the thinks I am thankful for my mind is wandering to technology. For indoor plumbing and heating, for phones to stay in touch and e-mail to converse with friends. For all of the wonderful little gadgets that help me to make better use of my time, and yes, sometimes waste my time as well, I am thankful. So as I send this out over the gift of the web, I am thankful that I can communicate with all of you in this way.

TC - Day 8

2010-12-08T08:39:00.000-06:00

Last night I was sore. My wonderful trainer worked us out hard yesterday, and I was paying for it this morning. But I got back up and went back today - which started with lunge laps, gotta love that at 5:15 in the morning. But as I was showering after the workout I was reminded that the soreness really is a blessing. It is a blessing because I am able to get up, go work out, and physically get healthier. So today I am thankful for the soreness and the ability to get up and go work out.

TC - Days 6 and 7

2010-12-07T15:17:00.000-06:00

Yesterday got by me, and so today I am making up for it by having 2 things I am thankful for.

So - number 6 - Sierra was riding in the back of the car earlier this week and started asking me all sorts of questions - the kind of questions that as adults we tend to pass right over and silly. But as I answered all of her questions the best that I could, I was taken back to those innocent and care-free days of life. So I am thankful to see the world through my daughters eyes, and see how beautiful life really is.

Number 7 - The past two days have barely gotten into double digits, so as I rushed out to the Y at 5 this morning, I was reminded of the blessings of warmth and warm clothing. I am thankful that I have the clothes needed to stay warm.

TC- Day 5

2010-12-05T06:51:00.000-06:00

On a typical Sunday, I am the first one up at our house. I get ready and then head into the office around 5:45 am. When I get here I go through my morning rituals - making coffee, prayers, drinking coffee, getting stuff set up in the sanctuary, drinking more coffee, and the list goes on. Then the rest of the family comes in and the girls have breakfast in my office before their sitter shows up, and then we are off and running for three services. This weekend we are having three baptisms as well - it will be a wonderful day.

And so, today I am thankful for worship - with its wonderful variety and different styles. To have the opportunity to gather with brothers and sisters, friends and strangers, and sing and pray and hear the life-giving word. Yes worship is a true blessing and I am thankful for that blessing this morning.

TC - Day 4

2010-12-04T08:20:00.000-06:00

I just got in from shoveling snow. It was wonderful outside, the air was brisk, the snow was light, and the world just felt a little cleaner. As I was out there I realized how thankful I am for the change of seasons. I would have a hard time living in place where there was not a change of seasons. I love all of them (with the exception of the humidity in the summer:). So today, I am thankful for the seasons and the weather that comes with all of them.

TC - Day 3

2010-12-03T06:34:00.000-06:00

Today is the first day we are back at work after out nice little vacation. we had a great time, but I am also glad to be back. It is nice to get back to routine after some time away.

And that got me thinking about what I am thankful for today - the church. Over the past nine months the church has shown me amazing blessings, love, and compassion. We have seen the best of the church over and over again. I am truly grateful and thankful for this part of the body, the church, and for all that you mean to me.

TC - Day 2

2010-12-02T18:31:00.000-06:00

We just got home from a nice vacation down to Florida. We spent some time with my mom, sister, and nieces in Sarasota then went over to Orlando to take the girls to Disney World. Overall it was a very nice trip and a needed break.

With that on my mind, what I am thankful for is family. My family has given me hope and inspiration, love and forgiveness, and a multitude of blessings throughout my life. I am truly thankful for them.

Thanksfulness Challenge Day 1

2010-12-01T13:54:00.000-06:00

Today I am starting the Thankfulness Challenge that will last through the month of December. Every day I will be posting on here on thing that I am thankful for in my life. And the first one is easy - God. I am thankful for the God who has claimed me, loves me, blesses me, forgives me, and empowers me to share his grace and love with others. I am thankful for all that God has blessed me with and for all of the relationships in my life.

Thanksgiving

2010-11-19T09:27:00.000-06:00

I know that it has been a few weeks since I have last posted - all is well here, I have just been busy trying to get caught up with everything and everyone. It is amazing how long it actually takes to get back to where I was - not because of lack of energy or anything like that (I feel great) but because of all that is going on and all that is already planned for the future.

So in order to slow myself down, again, I am preparing to take the Thankfulness Challenge. Starting in December, I, and whoever wants to join me, will be reflecting on a Bible passage about thankfulness and writing down one thing I am thankful for that day. I have a journal prepared and will be distributing at church starting this weekend (if you want one and don't live around here, let me know and I will e-mail it out to you). This journal will serve as a guide as we reflect on the many gifts and people we have to be thankful for.

I will be trying to post daily starting in December and list the things I am thankful for here, on the blog. Some days I may miss, but I will catch up the next day.

So as we prepare for the Thanksgiving holiday, I invite you to start reflecting on all the good things in your life and giving thanks to the God who has blessed you and will continue to do so.

CT Scan Results

2010-10-20T10:55:00.000-05:00

Today I got to meet with Dr. Vogel to get the results of my CT scan from last week.

The scan was clean - NO cancer - things are looking good!

Dr. Vogel was very happy and hopeful with the results. He was also amazed at how well I have handled all of the treatments. More blessings upon blessings.

Thanks to all of you, for your support and prayers. I don't have to do anything at this point. My next CT scan will be in January.

God Bless

Anxiety

2010-10-12T13:54:00.000-05:00

This week I am feeling a little anxious. On Friday I go in for my first quarterly post-treatment scan. The scan itself is not all that big of a deal, I have done plenty of scans and x-rays over the past six months. It is the anxiety of the results - which I will not get until the following Wednesday.

Overall, I am feeling great. I am working out more, I am eating better, I am spending time with family and friends, and work is going well. The only thing weighing on me is this darn scan.

Now I am quite sure that things will be fine, that the results will show a clean lung area, and I have nothing to worry about. But there are times when that little seed of doubt can flair up and get a person thinking way too much - and that happens sometimes with me.

So, the prayers for the week are two-fold: one is a prayer for a clean scan. The second one is a prayer for peace in my soul. I have to continually remind myself that every step I take, I am taking with God.

New Video - The Blessings of Waiting - Oct. ...

2010-10-07T16:36:00.000-05:00

Here is our newest video on the blessings of waiting.

Steps Forward

2010-09-30T10:01:00.000-05:00

Since the end of my treatments I have been attending a 5:15 am workout class at the Y 3 days a week. I really enjoy it, it has been a wonderful reminder of how out of shape I am. I remember when I used to do these same exercises in high school, and oh to be in that kind of shape again! But it does feel good to be back at it, and even though it is so early in the morning, I am a morning person by nature and love be up at that time of day.

It is also nice to be able to see the progress I make every time I am there. Some of the things that I could not do three weeks ago, I can do now. Every step is a step forward.

And that has been a bit of a theme for me as of late - steps forward. I have slowly been coming out of my treatment mentality of "what's next" when it comes to treatment and am moving forward with "what's next" in life. To be able to focus on the celebrations, the joys, the little things and not have my mind constantly thinking about the next treatment - that is a step forward as well.

I have also taken the time to write this whole journey down. That had some closure with it as well - being able to look back and see all that has happened, the steps forward that have been taken, and where I am now. Every step has been a positive one. Now I am trying to shop it out to publishers.

For me, so much of this has had to do with attitude - being able to see the positive, the blessings, the good things that have happened. And being able to take the next steps forward, celebrating each one on the way.

May you be blessed with joyful steps forward today.

Reality Sinks In

2010-09-23T15:36:00.000-05:00

Last weekend Jennifer and I took a trip to celebrate our anniversary (which is today) and the end of my treatments. It was a wonderful time for us to get away and just relax for a few days. And it was the start of getting back to normal, whatever that may mean.

When we returned, I had a bit of an awakening on Tuesday morning - I did not need to go and see a doctor or give a blood sample. This was something I knew, of course, but it had not really sunk in until Tuesday morning. I dropped Sierra and her friend off at school and as I was about to turn to go to the Clinic, it hit me. I needed to turn right rather than left. I needed to go to the office rather than the clinic. I am actually done with all the treatments. Like I said, I knew this, but the reality finally sunk in.

So this week has been one of getting back into the groove at church. I have been making visits to the hospital, preparing stewardship materials and adult studies, working on a sermon, getting ready for a baptism, and numerous other things that go along with day-to-day ministry. But more than that, I have been celebrating every little aspect of the day.

I know that before all of this happened, I took the daily life for granted. This is what I did, this is who I was, and so I just went about my days as if they would always be like this.

But now, now I celebrate every little moment. Last night before we came in for Kid's Club, Sierra was doing some homework (writing letters on a worksheet) and I sat there and just took that moment in. My little girl, writing letters and learning how to spell and read. A precious moment that is too easily overlooked. At the hospital earlier this week I sat with a person who was going home after surgery and saw a person filled with a second chance that inspired me to keep moving forward with everything.

There are so many moments that I took for granted in the past that I now will treasure and make into memories. And I pray that your eyes may be opened to those moments as well and you may see the blessings of God poured out upon you.

Done!!!

2010-09-15T09:03:00.002-05:00

After six long months, I am finally done. Today was my last day of radiation, which means it was the last day of my treatments. The radiation treatments went extremely well, there are still very minimal side effects and I have more energy now than I have had in months. The staff at the Cancer Care Center in Beloit was phenomenal and I will miss seeing them on a regular basis - I will not miss doing the treatments, but I will miss the people, they are some of the best around.

Earlier this week I had a regular appointment with my primary doctor. This is the first time that I had seen her since we started this whole process. It was on March 1, at my last appointment with her, that the CT Scan was ordered to follow up on some pneumonia that I had a few months earlier. I will never forget that night as she called me and said I had follow up tests to do with other doctors because of something strange on my scan. That was the start of this whole process.

I remember getting the news that I had cancer and the range of emotions that flooded over me at the time. Now, as I look back at it, I also see the hand of God at work every step of the way. The doctors, the tests, the nurses, those working in the labs, the congregation, my friends and family - through all of these people, through all of you, I have seen the face of Christ and experienced the healing touch of God. This has been one heck of a ride and it has also been a time when I have been forced to slow down. It was in this slow down time, in this time of waiting, that I have experienced the grace of God in ways I never expected. And I thank all of you for being little Christ's and walking this walk with me.

The next step of this journey is the follow up portion. I have my first CT Scan on October 15th. The following Wednesday I will meet with the oncologist and get the results. The prayer now is that the scans will all be negative and I will be done with treatments forever. I am quite hopefully that everything has gone just as it should and we have wiped out all traces of this cancer that was in my system.

I will continue to do at least weekly updates on the blog. This weekend Jennifer and I are going to celebrate the end of treatments and our 10th wedding anniversary by taking a short trip. I am sure that there will be plenty for me to write about after that. Thanks for all and God Bless!!

3 to Go!!!!

2010-09-10T09:46:00.002-05:00

Another week, and another step closer to being done. As much as I like these nurses, radiation techs, and doctor, I really am not going to miss going up there every day.

This week was like the rest, the biggest difference is that my throat is actually getting better. It is not as sore as it was last week. When I talked with the doctor about it earlier this morning, he said that there are a few cases where the person's body notices what the radiation is doing to it and starts to repair itself. That seems to be what is happening to me - another sign that I am a rarity:)

The meeting with the doctor today went well, again. I asked again about why we are not doing the extra sessions, not because I want to but because I want to make sure we are doing everything possible to wipe any cancer cells out of me. He said that there are no studies out there that show that it is that much better to do the extra sessions and we are radiating that area already, so we will save the extra radiation for someone else.

Another step I took in my treatment this week as to get back into some regular exercise. It has been months since I have had a regular program, so I signed up at the Y for a 5:15 AM Fit Club. It started this week, and even though it is quite early, I am really enjoying it. I am feeling a bit sore right now, but it is a good sore, and I look forward to going and "getting my sweat on." It is also a sign, at least mentally, that I am getting back to normal.

I will finish treatments on Wednesday, then Jennifer and I will be flying out of town on Friday for a long weekend to celebrate the end of my treatments, and more importantly, our 10th Anniversary. When we get back I will not have to see a doctor for 4 weeks, and then I start my quarterly CT Scans to make sure that nothing is coming back. I will do quarterly scans for 3 years, then semi-annual scans for 2 years, then at 5 years annual scans. The magic number is 5 years, because when I get to that stage, and am still cancer free, the likelihood if the cancer coming back is minuscule.

So far all is still going very well. I continue to ask for your prayers as we start looking forward to the scans and making sure that the cancer does not return. Next week I am sure I will post a joyful end to all the treatments. God Bless!

18 down, 7 to go

2010-09-03T09:04:00.002-05:00

Well, the radiation has continued to go as smoothly as possible. Every morning by 8:30 am I am being zapped and the side effects have still been minimal. I have a bit of a sore throat when I eat, but not bad enough to get me to stop eating, and the ice cream always makes it feel better in the end. I have not had the side effect of being tired at all. I actually have more energy than I have had since the operation and I even signed up for a 5:15 am class at the Y. I have been told that it will be torture, but hey, I am used to that:) Seriously though, I am glad that I am feeling so good that I have the energy to pursue this class and other things in life.

I was also informed today that I have completed 18 sessions and I only have 7 left. He has decided to not add the extra 2,3, or 5 sessions at the end. I asked him if this was because I was doing so well and he said yes. Gotta love it when the docs think the treatments are going well!

Radiation takes about 10 minutes, and during that time I am lying on a table while a machine rotates around my body and zaps me from different angles. I have started to turn this time into supplemental prayer time. It is a time when I know I will not be disturbed, since there is radiation being shot in there and people really don't want to hang out in that:) In this prayer time I just let the Spirit guide me, and in doing so the majority of time is spent in prayer of thanksgiving - thanksgiving for my family, congregation, the healing touch I am receiving, and a whole host of other things. This time of thanksgiving helps me to stay focused on the positive and the many ways God is continuing to work in my life, in the congregation, and in people all around me.

Everyday I am reminded about all of the good things in life, and I continue to try and celebrate them each and every day. This morning I took Sierra and a friend of hers to school, and as I looked out the mirror as I drove away I saw them run to the playground, laughing and smiling - that is a God moment, something to be thankful for. So today, may your eyes be opened to the blessings, the joy, the gifts you are given - for as one of God's children, you are loved, cared for, and needed.

Radiation and Continuing Ministry

2010-08-20T12:40:00.002-05:00

This week I completed my first full week of radiation. Overall it went very well, and the nurses love to have Sierra come up with me and talk to her while I am getting zapped. I have started to discover what "cumulative side effects" are as well. The first one has started to appear, if only a little bit. Since they are shooting the radiation directly over my throat, I am starting to feel it a little bit, esp. when I eat. This was expected, and on Thursday the doctor told me to increase the amount of calories I take in (nave had a doc tell me that before:) because in a few weeks I will probably be at a negative when it comes to calories and the amount I burn. I am preparing to eat lots of soup and milk shakes soon.

But as I came in to work today, I was also reminded about how life, and ministry, go on in the midst of these treatments. We were preparing for the Lunch Ministry when I got here. Today, in just under 40 minutes, we ran out of sandwiches, serving 100 people in that short time. There are people who show up 30 minutes early just to have some fellowship and talk with others, many of whom this si the only interaction with other people that they have all day.

The more I go through these treatments, the more blessed I feel. I feel blessed because I am part of a congregation who is motivated to serve those in need. I am blessed because I can keep doing what I am called to do - reaching out with the love of Christ to all I come in contact with. I am blessed because I have a medical team who is doing everything they can to make sure I can do these ministries as long as possible.

Being able to see the blessings always helps me to focus on the positive things that are happening in my life, and in the community I am a part of. Today, I pray that you may see the multitude of blessings that surround you.

Radiation

2010-08-14T15:46:00.003-05:00

On Wednesday I started the third leg of my treatment - radiation. So far it was been the simplest part as well, but I know that will change in a few weeks.

I will be have at least 25 sessions of radiation. They take place every weekday and last about 10-15 minutes. The first session was the longest, a little over an hour, because they had to shoot a few x-rays to make sure they were aiming the radiation in the right place. I told them to take their time and get it right.

There is a possibility that I will need an extra 3-5 sessions at the end. The doctor said that this might happen because when the surgeon cut out the tumor there was no cancer in the bronchial tubes, but there was some in the fleshy tissue surrounding those tubes. So the extra sessions would be done just to focus on that area in particular. It will not be decided until the last week of radiation and seeing how well I am holding up to the side effects.

Side effects should start kicking in next week. He told me that radiation is cumulative, so the effects are not felt right away. By next week he said I may start to feel a little run down and tired, this will continue until 3-4 weeks after radiation. He also said that since they are shoot quite close to the esophagus, there is a strong chance that I might feel the esophagus constrict a little and have to eat a lot of soft foods during the last few weeks of radiation and for 304 weeks afterward. Luckily I am big fan of soup and ice cream!

The staff at the radiation center is great. I have had to take Sierra with me and they have taken care of her wonderfully as well. So far, everything is going very well and I am still quite hopefully that all of this will do what it is supposed to and we will wipe this stuff out.

A for Effort

2010-08-04T23:39:00.002-05:00

Today I did my second meeting with the radiation team that I will be working with and learned more about radiation as well as demonstrated an amazing showing of enthusiasm.

I had a CT Scan so that the doctor could figure out the exact areas that he wants to shoot the radiation. During this time they also pulled out a wonderful Sharpie and made marks on my chest, which they then covered with tape, so that they could line me up the same way when I come in for treatments. I had heard from some who had this in the past that they actually tattooed people, but luckily I did not need to have that happen. The only painful part will be taking the tape off next week.

We proceeded with the scan, then I got my schedule. I will be starting next Wednesday and follow up with 30 sessions. Each session takes about 10 minutes and I will be doing them daily at 8:30 in the morning, what a great way to start the day!

After that the doctor wanted me to have a breathing test. Here is where I got my A for Effort.

When they came to give me the test, they had me stand, put a breathing device in my mouth, and look at a screen of bricks. The goal was to blow down as many bricks as possible. So I did. I pushed out the initial breath of air and I kept blowing and blowing and blowing ... until I passed out.

I cam to a second later with three techs trying to get me into the chair. My first words were, "Did I blow down enough bricks?"

Needless to say, the rest of the test was done with me sitting and them telling me, quite forcefully, when to inhale a second time.

All the joys of medicine :)

Tomorrow I head off to the Cities to celebrate the end of my chemo. I will be back on Sunday evening.

Radiation Schedule

2010-08-02T18:19:00.002-05:00

Today Jennifer and I met with the radiation team who I will be working with next with this whole process. They seem like some great people and the doctor was extremely personable. It turns out that Jennifer and I went to seminary with his niece as well, so that was a nice connection.

On Wednesday I will be going back to get everything lined out as to where they will be doing the radiation. They will be doing a CT Scan and marking the areas that they want to focus on. According to the doctor, they will be focusing on the lymph node areas, since the main tumor was taken out and the lymph nodes are of the most concern. The hope is that the nodes that were left as all clean now, but instead of taking any chances they will use the radiation on them.

Then I am going to go to the Twin Cities for a few days. I am going to meet with a few friends and celebrate the end of chemo. I will be back on Sunday night.

The following week is when I will start radiation. It looks like I will have about 30 sessions. Sessions take place daily and last 10-15 minutes. The side effects seem quite minimal compared to radiation, but it is also cumulative, so it will not really be felt until half way through the process.

With 30 sessions, this will take about 6 weeks to complete, so I should be all done with treatments by the end of September (something I am really looking forward to). I was encouraged by this appointment and I am looking forward to start this process, mainly so that I can get done with all the treatments.

All for now.

Done with Chemo

2010-07-28T15:35:00.002-05:00

Today I had my last chemo session - yeah!

It went ;like most of the other sessions, I had some wonderful people stop by and help pass the time. The nurses were great as usual and all the drugs tht needed to be given to me were. And when we were all done, I loving told the nurses I hope to never have to sit in their little green chairs again.

Before chemo I had my regular meeting with the doctor and learned a few things about the rest of the process. I will be meeting with the radiation oncologist next Monday. After meeting with him I will have a schedule and plan for the radiation therapy. In three months I will be have a CT Scan and meeting with the oncologist to see if the treatments are working. I will be having CT scans every three months for at least two years, maybe three. THen they will drop to every six months. The magic number is five - for making it five years after surgery and treatment with no relapse means that there is a very, very small chance that the cancer will return. I also learned thart because of the stage of my cancer there is at least a 50 percent chance of relapse. We are all hopefully that this stage of the treatment is working.

Overall I am feeling good. Tonight Jennifer and I will celebrate by going out to dinner and see RENT at a local theater. A nice little celebration before the meds wear off and I crash for awhile. Prayers are still appreciated and I will update when I learn more about the radiation.

New Video

2010-07-25T07:12:00.000-05:00

A couple of weeks ago we shot another video. Here it is.

Slower on the Uptake

2010-07-13T17:42:00.002-05:00

Okay, this week I learned something new (I guess it is always good to learn something, right:). What I learned today is that after three sessions of chemo, the body is a bit slower to heal than it was at the beginning.

Normally I am feeling quite good by day 6 or so after chemo, this week I am on day six and I am still wiped out. The body is not doing what I want it to when I want it to, and that is a bit frustrating. So my whine for today is - C'mon body, get over it!

Now I know, in the big picture I am quite blessed with how well things have been going. To only have to worry about needing extra sleep and dealing with hiccups is very minor in all of this, but I guess I was spoiled from the beginning.

Wow - I just said I was spoiled during chemo. I never imagined that as a mindset I would have in my life.

So today I slept a little more, I took a few more breaks, I listened to my body. And all of these are good things. Maybe I am also being told to slow down in other ways as well.

Tomorrow I will be one step closer to being done with this part of the treatment. Today I will celebrate the fact that have this treatment to take care of the disease.

Yes, there are blessings - I just have to keep my eyes open for them.

Chemo session 3 is done!

2010-07-07T20:18:00.002-05:00

Well, I am 3/4 of the way done with my chemotherapy. Today was the third session, and it went as well as it has the previous times. I did my blood draw at 8:15 (everything was great again) and then met with the doctor before chemo. He was impressed with how well I have been responding to the chemo and the physical exam he did looked good again. Before he left I asked him about radiation and when I would meet with the radiation oncologist. He said I will me with the other doctor three weeks after I finish chemo, so that would be in mid-August. I was hoping to get the ball rolling earlier than that, but hey, he is the doc!

I also asked about how many session of radiation I will be doing, and he did not even hazard a guess. I have heard anywhere from 4 sessions to 25 sessions. I have learned that those sessions will do done 5 days a week and last about 15 minutes. One person I know who works with this said she thought I would be more around the 25 sessions. I will find out in six weeks.

Part of this is a bummer, because I was hoping to be done with everything by the end of August. Now it looks like I will run into September with some of the treatments. But, if this is what needs to be done to make sure there are no little cancer bugs hanging around, then lets do it right!

If the past two sessions are any guide, then I will be up late tonight because of the steroids. So I will be doing a little reading and writing and see how long the steroids mess with me. I am in the process of putting this whole experience down in book form, so late nights might actually help me get that done.

All for now, more will come later this week.

God Bless

Moving Forward

2010-06-23T11:03:00.002-05:00

The week after chemo went very well. The nausea was even less than last time and I was not as tired as I was before. I did preach over the weekend and three services on Sunday was a bit much, but I got through it. I will not have to that again since I am not on for preaching on the weekends following chemo the next two times.

Today I inherited a cold with a wonderful barking cough, so I do have a call into the nurses to see what I can or cannot take to help with this. It is always fun trying to mix medicines with what I can take with the chemo and what would affect it and the work the chemo is doing.

Mentally I have been very upbeat lately. With everything going as well as it is, I am feeling that the chemo is doing what it needs to be doing. If there are any cancer cells hiding in me, then the chemo is wiping them out and I will be cancer free following all of these treatments. I am also looking forward to radiation - the more I can do to wipe this stuff out the better!

I have also started some planning for the future. We are looking at a short family vacation before the last session of chemo - a little chance to get away and enjoy some family time. And I am looking at at a solo trip up to the Cities after all my treatments to catch up with some friends. It is nice to be able to look forward once again.

All for now - will update more later.

Round 2 Update

2010-06-14T20:53:00.002-05:00

Round Two went very well today. Things got started a little later than expected because the place was packed. There was not a free chair for over 5 hours - and i knew a good number of the people who were there. One thing that was cool was that I was seated with people from church all day - so we had some great conversations.

I am also very grateful for the people who came to visit and just chat. These great people made the time go by much quicker, and after being there for 7 hours, it was a blessing to have friends there.

So I am done with two rounds - tonight I will be up a bit, the steroid they gave me have that affect on me. The next few days I will be taking the anti-nausea meds and a number of naps, but I am still planning to be at work when I am not sleeping and I am planning on preaching this weekend (the gospel lesson is the first recorded case of deviled ham - gotta love it).

Round three was moved to a Wednesday because of the July 4 holiday - so in just over three weeks I am at it again. I will have more later this week. God Bless.

Monday - Round 2

2010-06-13T22:00:00.002-05:00

Tomorrow morning I start round 2 of chemo. The morning starts with another blood draw (one of the great weekly joys I have nowadays), then a meeting with the oncologist, followed by 7 hours of having fluids and chemo pumped into the system.

The good news is that the last session went so smoothly that I am feeling very positive about this round. Days 3-5 afterward were the worst, but that just meant I was tired and felt a wee bit queasy. I know many people who have had it a lot worse than me.

I am also feeling good about how the chemo is working. My thoughts are that if I am feeling as good as I am, then it must be hitting the cells it is target (it may be wishful thinking, but hey - I am hopeful here:).

last week we had our first Cancer Prayer Support Group meeting and had a nice turnout of survivors, those of us going through treatments, and family and friends of those affected. It is always a joy to see the survivors because of the hope that they give to others. It is also nice to have a group to gather and shore stories. We also see how much humor plays a part in the healing process. Laughter is a true blessing in all of this.

I will report back later this week on how it is all going. And I am sure that I will have some humorous Facebook updates tomorrow. Have a blessed night.